A choice

Happiness might be a choice. But it is choice we need to make every damn morning. Every damn morning when you wake up with the memories of the dreams you saw, where every thing was perfect. And as soon as you open your eyes, reality hits. You pick up your phone with a last string of hope , that may be things are the same. But except for alarm notification there is nothing. And then it hits you. Again. Morning after morning. That maybe it won’t be the same ever again. And again every night while crying yourself to sleep, your mind somehow wanders to the good part. In you perfect world. And you get lost in that dream. But again, the next morning… Same story. So yes. Happiness is a choice. Every morning when you get up, and are left with no reason to live but still you get up and go on. Then yes warrior. You make that choice everyday. Because sometimes happiness is just breathing when you see no reason to survive. 

The one where someone wrote something for me 

​Dear girl , 

Now you are in broken phase of your life , you will feel world has wronged you & it always happens with good people … you have lots of memories made with other person & it’s not easy to overcome either. As they say ” Time heals everything ” , you don’t have to block the other person on social networking sites or on caller list . Just sit back & watch , things will be better. You will analyse to understand  that your interests never really matched . Concept of having a person in your life & actually that person being a part of your life are entirely different . Now you will see that you will not open to any other person about your deepest fantacies or darkest secrets like u did with that person . You will realise that it’s not wrong to be selfish about your goals , hobbies & interests. You have to just take courage , raise your head & move on regardless bashing .

Find people who have similar interests as you like reading different kinds of literature ,writing blogs , trying out different delicacies , music , football & so on . Believe me you are a amazing girl , you have lots of love , admiration , charm , wit & glamour left in you . Your vibes will attract the right ones & let it not take control over you in future . I can talk to you endlessly & bore you too … Just have fun , live your life , no regrets for anything & let Karma decide follow up action . Attend book fairs , watch movies with friends , go on trip to nearby places… you are the youngest possible version of yourself today & make full use of it . Don’t worry , there are lots of folks in the world to take care of you . Just let yourself wild & free … stay happy , amazing & cheerful as always …..

Your biggest fan 😊

-As written by a friend of mine for me. Thank you Sanghu 🙂

Review:The Fist of God

What a brilliance! This is my first Forsyth title, and I am already regretting, for not picking him up before. Absolutely brilliant writing, with a superb description of everything around and a tinge of mystery. This is a book on gulf war. Middle East being a topic I am interested in, this was a treat for me. 

Set in the gulf war, the book opens up with a scientist who is trying to make a giant gun, later known as the Fist of God. It sets it’s course well, when the scientist is killed and Saddam Hussein is introduced. What a research Forsyth has done. Sheer brilliance. Though the topic of gulf war is old yet, ever interesting. The way he builds up is superb. Though there are not many cliff hangers, but still there is never a dull page!

The sequences of weapons and ammunitions and description of jets, might be a little overwhelming for the first time readers of such topics, but you’ll get your way through. Forsyth is known for his research. This book is one of those types which will make you google for the historical things. Not because you won’t understand but because it will make it so interesting. 

Though there is no main central character, but you have to give Major Mike Martin a very important role. The moment he enters the story, it just gets better. You will be waiting to read his part. Each time he starts with “Black Bear to Rocky Mountain. Recieving. Over”. You feel the satisfaction of finishing a mission. The descriptions about Iraq are on the place. Involvement of Mossad, Vienna, everything just seems right. 

So go pick this up and read it, as early as possible. Of course, if you read this genre. You’ll regret missing it for so long. Forsyth in no time will become my favourite author! 

When it’s April and June is far away.

With our generation complaining so much about commitment issues and unsuccessful relationships, it is very hard and unusual actually, to have a long term relationship. You go through so much, and still decide to be together. Commendable. It is difficult at times to tolerate human presence as well, and in all that when two people decide to stick by each other ,through all the drama. Indeed it is a blissful act. There are many types of relationships today, no strings attached, one sided strings attached, friends with benefits, normal relationship, long distance relationship, different timezone relationship etc. 
Talking about long distance relationship. To all the people who say that LDR doesn’t work out, here are two words for you. Get Lost. Yes there is a constant gap. A constant feeling of missing the other person. Many people say that it is difficult because you don’t know what she is doing, what he is doing. You can just fool around. But a lot of people fool around ​even being next to you. Then they say that it is different when you are apart, and it will be different when you are together. Well if you can handle it even when you were apart, you can definately handle it when you are together. All it would take is one hug. 

Yes LDR is a difficult walk. Not because of trust issues or the distance. But because there are days when all you want to do is go back home to the person you love. There will always be these impulsive moments when you’ll miss each other like crazy. But if you can’t handle it with these millions of communication mediums available these days, then there is an issue with you, not your relationship. But it is good in a way. You have like these mini holidays coming up almost every few months, because being together is nothing less than a celebration for you. There are those special days of your life when you want to be together, but there will be work commitments keeping you away. And it’s even more difficult when your partner is into some serious job, like military. 

Then it’s a different story altogether. You might not get to talk, not because you don’t want to, but because you can’t. There will be so much work related engagements with them. It is really difficult to find a perfect time to talk. There will be days at stretch when you won’t talk for abnormal time. There will be days when they are on leave and will keep on irritating you continuously. But one thing you learn with this relationship is to cherish whatever time you have got. Because time is scarce. And no, you can’t visit them whenever and wherever you please. It’s so different even from a normal LDR. Like you both want to be together, but you can’t, because rules! You learn to respect their job, because they respect it so much and you somehow adapt to it. Telling yourself that yes, maybe they love their job more. But that is something you need to make peace with. And while they are busy you keep planning. Like they will come, this will pass but meanwhile. And trust me, meanwhile is the worst time. 

So yes today, relationships are not the coolest things. There are lots of versions of them, rather modernised. But for old school people there are still people exactly like them. And you’ll find them sooner or later. And when you do. Hold on. Hold in tightly. And when the pangs of missing them grow stronger and stronger, stick on it. Miss them. When it’s April, and June is far away, miss them, meanwhile​ 🙂

Dear John….

I have read and re-read the book a lot of times. Everytime thinking that it was Savannah who was at fault. Of course, the major fault was of the situation, just like in most other cases. Still I used to believe that if even a little blame was to be given ,to anybody but the circumstances, it would be Savvaanah and not John. 
Of course,why John should be blamed? He was doing an elite job, which required sacrifices. Working for the motherland is definitely the best job one could ever do. However what about Savvaanah, she was just doing what she liked, and in the end couldn’t even stay loyal to John and ended up marrying Tim. As a kid, I used to hate Savvaanah for that. 

But a grown up me, as I read the same novel again. I can now empathise with Savvaanah. And I can totally understand why she did, what she did. I can find reason and sense her emotional trauma when she told John when he was on his holiday, that she doesn’t want to spend the holidays with him. Because for him, she was just a part of his holidays. Rest everything for him was his work. And during the time when he was working, she was trying to live her life without him. And while doing so she had fought and became stronger​. Why should John come, one day, change her whole life, make her believe in her fairytale love for a few days, and then leave. Again to make her start the whole process of missing him, fighting to get back in her normal routine and trying to keep herself together. 

John wasn’t at fault as well. He was bound by the customs and rules. But the second time he chose to serve again, he chose it. He could have gone back to Savannah. But he chose what he loved more. And for that why should she be blamed? Why should she keep on waiting for John, knowing that he might again choose to serve a third time, a fourth time and yet again. And she would have to leave everything and move with him. 

I kept on blaming Savvaanah for not giving up on her own life. But why should she be blamed if she decided to love herself more than she loved John. No. She wasn’t wrong in the decisions she made. Just like John. He wasn’t wrong as well. 

This story just goes on to say that sometimes we don’t get what we love the most. Sometimes the things, the people you love the most are at the farthest corner. You can’t reach there. And reaching there will only exhaust you. You need not run after the people you love the most. It is better to love from a distance. Time runs out, no matter a day, a month or an year. Time is always short. And after everything, life goes on 🙂

And when you are settling, settle for this

Settle for a pizza and a hot chocolate (I liked how my autocorrect showed hot chick)

Settle for a fur buddy. 

Settle for some sunset and some rain, and some music all along. 

Settle for a couple of good friends. 

But never settle for tinde ki sabzi. 

Settle for paneer!

When your are settling, settle for messy hair days.

And settle for loose t shirt days. 

Settle for a 2-km run

But never settle for a night long cry marathon. 

Settle for gulab jamuns, and vanilla ice cream which makes it better. 

Settle for someone who makes you better. 

But never settle for someone who brings out the worst in you. 

Settle for some books

And settle for a bag of nachos. 

Settle for long drives.

And star gazing. 

Settle for a minute long call

But don’t settle for a lifelong wait. 

The worst things in life come in the most attractive packages, and the best ones come all vanilla. So sometimes it is better to choose vanilla over chocochip 😉

Ghosts

As she woke up, there he was.
The ghost, which she always saw.

Crept his way from the past,

Looked like he was there to last.

She shrugged, as he laughed.

Helpless, she begged him to move

But as usual he disapproved. 

Tired of fighting, she wanted to give up.

And then, magic happened. 

She never believed in angles.

But there it was. 

Clad in all white.

Reflecting peace and might!

Shooing the ghost away, she found new strength.

And the angel stood there watching.

Looking in her eyes it told her,

“The strength which you were looking around 

Was all along within yourself. 

But with your mind’s ghost you were bound.

So you never heard my knocking sound”